


Drops of the Sea

by jozka



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blood and Injury, F/F, Found Family, Mermaids, Minor Character Death, Pirates, Slow Burn, Violence, homoerotic swordfighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:02:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29984640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jozka/pseuds/jozka
Summary: Kageyama Miwa is bored with her life in the capital and decides to return to her hometown. When her ship is unexpectedly attacked by mermaids, her journey leads her down a route she never could've imagined.
Relationships: Haiba Alisa/Kageyama Miwa/Tanaka Saeko
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9
Collections: Haikyuu WLW Bang





	Drops of the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be scared by the tags! The violence isn't really that graphic and the minor characters that die are all unnamed! Hope you enjoy:)

The saltwater breeze surrounds Miwa like a comforting blanket. It tugs on her hair and smells like home. 

She has missed it dearly.

Five years have passed since she set off to the Capital in pursuit of happiness and satisfaction, only to grow miserable and homesick. The Capital held nothing for her, not for a girl who constantly redefined the rules and refused to settle for anything less than precisely what she wanted.

Growing up on a small fishing island made her yearn for something more. What this was exactly, she didn’t know. She still doesn’t. She thought that the mainland could provide whatever she was looking for, but all it did was take away the freedom she had saved up for herself. 

Working odd jobs in the city harbour, being a tailor's apprentice, helping at the bakery—nothing out of this was for her. Money was scarce, but time was more so. Miwa wanted to explore, to learn. The hours wouldn’t allow her. 

Worst of all, she got bored.

In her youth, she had plenty of time to read while her family went out with the fishing boat. Although fishing isn’t a profession she can see herself doing until death comes knocking, at least it gives her some semblance of alone time.

And it gives her the sea. 

What comes next, she doesn’t know. She doesn’t think she has to know either, she will take it day by day, figuring it out as life goes along.

The ship giving her passage from the mainland is packed to the brim with people. The cheap price is the only perk of hitching a ride with a merchant while one of the many downsides is the fact that several others thought the same thing. Miwa can’t complain, not when she’s at sea and soon to be home. 

Her parents died in a storm many years ago, back when her younger brother was only a baby. Their grandfather, who was their only living relative, took them in and raised them until sickness made death claim him as well. After that it was only Miwa and Tobio, working every day to keep the family business alive and put food on the table. Every day, Miwa dreamt of getting off the island and seeing far away places. Once Tobio became an adult and assured her that he would be fine on his own, she booked passage on the next boat out.

Tobio will not be there upon her arrival. She knows this because he left the island as well. Where exactly he went, she does not know. He always had great plans, plans Miwa discarded as childish and silly until she realized just how serious he was about them.

It is a luxury to be able to dream. It is even more so to be able to pursue them.

Miwa doesn’t know which dream he decided to chase, but she’s happy for him regardless, and she can’t wait to tell him that in person one day.

The journey ahead of her is going to be long, uncomfortable and incredibly dull. Food will be scarce, she’ll probably have to forego meals in favor of the many children sleeping curled up against their parents. 

Curse the concept of compassion.

Eventually the sun gives in to the moon and the only source of light becomes the flickering lanterns hanging from various hooks around the small ship. Most of the crew and passengers have retreated below deck, but the size of the ship won’t allow all of them to do so. Miwa doesn’t mind that much, the weather is mild this time of year. 

She is no stranger to sleeping underneath the stars, or to the rocking of waves, or the sound of wood creaking. It’s almost painful how familiar all of this is. Miwa tugs on her coat; it’s a bit too heavy for the season but good to have in case the weather should change its mind.

Suddenly, Miwa feels something bump into her leg. She looks down and is met with a pair of wide eyes framed by shiny black curls staring up at her.

“Hello,” a little girl says, “What are you looking at?”

Miwa isn’t looking at anything, not really. She’s leaning with her elbows on the railing and her face in her hands, and although her face is turned towards the sea, she’s not really looking at it. 

“The horizon,” she answers, to which the little girl's eyes widen even more.

“I’ve never seen the horizon,” the girl says, to which Miwa laughs.

“I’m sure you have. Do you know what a horizon is?” 

The girl shakes her head and Miwa smiles at her, more amused than she thought she’d be on this dull journey.

“Here, I’ll show you,” Miwa says and gently lifts the girl up a bit so she can see above the railing.

“There, that faint orange line just as the sea meets the sky, that’s the horizon. It’s orange right now because the sun is going down, but during the day it has no color.”

“Woah,” is all the girl says.

Miwa is just about to let her down —she’s a stranger’s child, after all— when the girl points at something emerging up from the middle of the ocean.

“What is that?” she asks, just as Miwa spots it herself.

“I have no idea.” Miwa puts the girl down while she protests that she wants to see what the mysterious thing is. 

The truth is that Miwa has a faint idea of what it could be, but she sincerely hopes she’s wrong.

The girl starts to cry and runs off, the commotion catches the attention of several other passengers, who turn and look over to where Miwa is standing. Their eyes don't get to linger at her for very long though, as soon after Miwas fears are confirmed.

It starts as an echo, a faint chiming sound in the distance.

“It seems we have company,” a man walks up beside Miwa and copies her pose, leaning on the railing and staring out into the sea, “and I’m afraid it’s not a very nice one.”

“Should we retreat below deck?” Miwa asks, but the man doesn’t look as concerned as Miwa thinks he should given the situation.

“It’s impossible for all of us to fit, but we should definitely try to evacuate the most vulnerable of us.” He must read the worry on Miwa’s face, because he hurries to reassure her. “Take it from someone who just retired from the navy, these things are vicious but they’re not unmanageable. A good amount of people can withstand their song for hours. If we couldn’t, we wouldn’t have any men returning from the sea at all.”

The man’s words ease Miwa’s worry a bit, and they start to make a plan.

According to the many tales told to Miwa by the town elders as a child, mermaids prey on the naive. Children, who are easily impressed and overly trusting. The innocent, who have never felt betrayal or hurt. The lonely, who will take company wherever they can get it. Miwa is afraid she might be part of the latter group. 

Despite her fears, Miwa and the unknown navy man she encountered spread the word to the rest of the passengers to make sure everyone who needs to get below deck. Thankfully, most of the passengers cooperate, understanding the seriousness of the situation. There is no need for it to become dangerous as long as the proper precautions are taken. According to the man, married couples and people in love are less likely to be enchanted by the singing, as they have no reason to be persuaded by someone other than their loved one. Thus, parents are divided from their children, much to their dismay. 

Getting a group of children away from their parents and down into the dark unknown is a harder task than Miwa anticipated. She feels like a shepherd without experience. Some of them are crying, and she suspects it’s more out of confusion than fear, as most of them are too young to fully grasp what’s going on.

Just as Miwa thinks she’s successfully isolated all the children present on the ship, her eyes lock onto a familiar head of curly black hair. In the middle of the chaos, the little girl she previously spoke to has managed to sneak away. She’s climbing on top of a barrel placed a bit too close to the railing for Miwa’s liking. Her heart starts to beat faster as she realizes that all the adults that are still on deck are too busy coming up with strategies for blocking out the steadily growing mermaid voices to notice the girl.

The mermaids are nearing, their singing grows both in volume and intensity. Their melodies are strange, vastly different from any produced by a human, but beautiful nevertheless. For a moment, Miwa forgets about collecting the girl and just stops to listen. There’s a hint of familiarity in the voices, a sprinkle of something so achingly similar to what Miwa has felt during her many sleepless nights in the capital that it leaves her frozen on the spot. She wants to reach out to the voice, to connect with it. She knows she shouldn’t, that it’s all an illusion to lure her to her death. She knows that. But suddenly death doesn’t seem as scary.

A scream snaps her out of her delusion. It’s loud and painful and sears right through the mermaids loud harmonies for a second like they’re not even there.

With a group of people all gathered at the railing where Miwa just saw the girl, she immediately understands what has happened. Without giving it a second thought she rushes to the crowd, yelling at anyone that will listen for a rope. 

Miwa has done some pretty reckless things in her life; going swimming at midnight alone, getting into a drunken fight against a man twice her size, and trying to pet a fox that wandered into her garden are just some examples. Jumping with only a rope headfirst off a ship surrounded by mermaids on the prowl beats all of them.

The girl’s head is above water. She is barely keeping afloat by moving all her limbs in a panic. Miwa is a fast and experienced swimmer, she reaches the child’s side quickly and frantically tries to tie the rope around her stomach while keeping both of them afloat. The girl is sobbing and splashing and Miwa’s eyes are burning from all the saltwater obstructing her view. When she’s satisfied with her knots she tries to yell and gesticulate at the crows above to pull the girl up. 

Her yells get interrupted by a sudden yank on her ankle. She tries to resist, kicking and flailing like her life depends on it, but to no avail. A mermaid has a firm grip on her ankle, and it is dragging her down towards her death.

Despite it being summer, the ocean feels as cold as the harshest winter night. The further down Miwa is dragged, the more numb her limbs get. She can feel claws digging their way into her flesh like nails into wood. The pain causes her to open her mouth on reflex, but instead of letting out her intended scream, water rushes in.

Her body is freezing, but her lungs are burning up.

She stops resisting, closes her eyes and sends a silent prayer to a god she hasn’t believed in for years now that at least the little girl will survive.

—

Miwa’s throat burns. 

Her body is limp, her eyes are stinging, there is a ray of light shining down on her and she wants to reach out for it but she can’t move a single muscle. She can’t breathe —her mouth is filled with the bitter taste of saltwater and sand and her nose is filled with snot. Her whole body is sticky, disgusting, stuck. 

After what feels like an eternity, she starts to cough. Her body convulses, her bones creak. Miwa feels like she’s dying, which is proof that she is still alive. It hurts. Once she calms down and regains her breathing, she gathers enough power to move her fingers. She lets them draw patterns on the ground around her, to get a sense of where she is. Tiny grains of dry sand slip through her fingers. It’s warm. Her whole body is warm, being heated up from both above and below. For a second, she can almost fool herself that she’s lying on a pile of cushions in her garden, the way she used to do as a child. Her grandfather would always reprimand her about bringing things that belong to the house out into the garden, but Miwa likes having the sun shine directly down on her, likes to bask in it the same way the stray cats down by the harbour do.

Right now she isn’t basking, she’s burning up. 

A thousand suns prick her skin like needles, and she can do nothing except lie there and take the pain. 

She notices after a while that she’s making sounds, not quite screaming, but sounds of discomfort. Her throat is raw and the sounds are more air than anything, but it drowns out the ringing in her ears.

She blinks her eyes open. They still sting, and she can feel her tears mix with grains of sand and saltwater. It’s uncomfortable, but after a while she can see the clouds floating by above her.

She’s not at the bottom of the ocean. She’s lying on a beach. She’s alive.

“Oh, you’re awake!” 

She’s hearing a voice that isn’t hers.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come to it so quickly! Or at all, if I’m being honest… You really scared me there for a while.”

Miwa’s ears are still ringing, but the voice talking to her breaks through it like one of the waves she nearly drowned in. It’s melodic and sweet, like the mermaids were until they showed their true faces. 

She wants to answer, wants to make some sort of acknowledgment affirming that yes, she is alive. But also inquiring, asking just how that comes. For surely the mermaid didn’t simply let her free from her clutches, and surely the waves didn’t carry her all the way to shore. Miwa owes her survival to something, or more likely someone. 

All she can do is grunt in response.. She gains control over her arms, lifting her hands to her face to try and wipe the sand away from her eyes, only to end up doing the opposite and adding more. 

“I wish I could help you more,” the voice says, “but I’m afraid you’re out of my reach.” 

After struggling for a moment, Miwa manages to get enough sand away to really blink her eyes open and take in her surroundings. Above her is the sky, tiny puffs of clouds gliding by serenely. To her left is a stretch of sand that eventually ends in a rock formation, and to her right there is nothing but a giant rock wall. When she raises her head slightly, she can see what’s right in front of her. Perched on a rock in the ocean, sits a woman. She has long silvery hair, so long it goes down to her waist, covering her front almost like a robe. Miwa notes that she isn’t wearing any clothes, and the reason for that becomes evident when her eyes trail a bit further down her body.

She’s a mermaid.

If Miwa had the strength to move her body the way she wanted to, she would run away. Unfortunately all she can do is gasp and jerk pathetically, like a fish on dry land. 

“Please,” the mermaid says, voice gentle and clear, “I mean no harm.”

Miwa finds it hard to believe that.

“I know it might be hard for you to trust me on this, but I don’t agree with the beliefs held by most of my species,” the mermaid continues, almost like she can read Miwa’s mind. To be honest she wouldn’t put it past her, there has yet to be enough recorded data on mermaids to list all of their many abilities. “I come in peace, truly.”

Miwa coughs. “Why?” 

The question isn’t very specific, Miwa realizes this just as it leaves her mouth, but it feels like she physically can’t force a full sentence out.

“I know this must all seem very confusing to you, but a couple of hours ago I heard sirens singing, understood what was about to happen, and followed them,” the mermaid takes a deep breath, as if to collect herself. “I’ve seen too much death, too many humans die just for the thrill of it all, and it makes me sick. When I saw you clasped in the hands of that siren I felt ashamed and angry, so I acted quickly and snatched you away. I’m a rather fast swimmer, she couldn’t have caught up even if she tried, and she didn’t. I knew you were only barely alive and that I had to get you to land so I swam as fast as I could to get you to this island.” She gives Miwa a faint smile. “I’m glad I made it in time.”

Even if Miwa had been in top form, the mermaid's retelling of events would’ve left her speechless. She saved her life. This silver-haired mermaid saved Miwa from drowning by the hands of another mermaid.

If her story is true, that is. Mermaids are notorious liars, using their sweet voices to harm and deceive the most vulnerable. 

But for some reason, and a foolish one at that, probably, Miwa believes her story. She’s perched on a rock in the ocean, at a respectable distance where she can’t reach Miwa. She briefly wonders how the mermaid got her limp body so far up on the beach, then realizes it was probably with the help of the tide. 

Miwa uses all the strength she’s mustered up during the few minutes she’s been conscious to push herself up in a sitting position, using her arms at both sides to stabilize herself. When she’s sitting up she gives the mermaid another glance. She’s really beautiful, almost painfully so. Her hair glows like precious metal in the sunlight; it casts a shimmering reflection upon her fair skin. Her tail is a shade of blue so rich of color, men would start a war over it. Her eyes mirror the color, but with a gleam that makes them look like gemstones. She’s stunning, and Miwa can’t help but think that if she were to die, she wouldn’t mind dying by her hands. 

“Do you have a name?” it isn’t the question she planned to ask, but when the mermaid's face lights up like the stars in the night sky she doesn’t regret it.

“Alisa,” the mermaid says. “We aren’t given names at birth like you humans, but I took one for myself when I left my clan.”

“Alisa,” Miwa mimics. It’s a beautiful name; very fitting of the creature in front of her.

“May I ask for yours?” 

“Mi…” she trails off. Miwa knows not to give out her name to strangers, especially ones bestowed with magical powers, and yet it almost slips out before she can restrain herself. “Kageyama,” she settles on, inherited family names are much less personal than given ones.

Alisa looks at her in a way that reminds her of the old ladies in her hometown. Whenever Miwa would cause trouble they’d have this look on their face like they’re amused at her actions but trying not to show it. 

“Well then, Kageyama, I must be off,” Alisa says, sliding off the rock more gracefully than Miwa thought it possible. “I wish you good luck in future endeavors, and please try not to drown.”

Miwa doesn’t have time to react before Alisa is fully submerged in the water.

“Wait!” she calls out, silently praying Alisa can still hear her. “How do I get off this island?”

Miwa brings a hand to her throat; it’s burning worse than ever. Alisa’s head pops out of the water a moment later, her hair floating around her like melted silver.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alisa says. “She will be here soon.”

Once again, the mermaid is gone before Miwa can ask any further questions, like where she is going or what she meant by her parting message.

Miwa is left on the beach, alone and still too weak to stand up and explore her surroundings. Her mind is a little fuzzy, but with Alisa filling in the blanks she starts to slowly recall the events that transpired the previous night. She wonders what happened to the rest of the passengers, if they made it out safe and sound or if anyone else fell overboard. She doesn’t think she could forgive herself if anyone tried to save her like she did with the little girl. But then again, she’s a grown up woman, not an innocent child, and she doubts anyone would be stupid enough to risk their life for her. 

Seconds, minutes, and probably hours pass while Miwa just lies there, exhausted and confused, until grey clouds start to roll in. Normally she’d spit and curse at them, but now the shade they bring is more than welcome. It starts to rain, the fresh water helping to wash away the feeling of salt and sand still lingering on Miwa like a second skin. She opens her mouth and tries to catch it with her tongue. She probably looks ridiculous, like she did as a child when she would get yelled at by the town elders for behaving inappropriately and un-ladylike. The thought is amusing and she starts to laugh. She was a child, of course she didn’t act like a lady back then. She barely does now. She thinks to herself that she might die here on this beach, surrounded by rocks with only a mermaid knowing her whereabouts. She starts to laugh even more at that. 

She’s doomed. It’s hilarious.

In the middle of her laughing fit, she catches sight of something big and black at the horizon. Miwa hurries to stand up and immediately fall back down again, her legs are still wobbly and unsteady. Her second try goes a bit better, and she stumbles on shaking legs over to one of the big rocks to hold on to it while the black shape moves closer and closer towards her. Just as she suspected, what’s moving towards her little island is a ship. She realizes that this might be her chance to survive, to get a ride on the ship to civilization. She doesn’t even care about reaching her hometown anymore; solid, inhabited ground is good enough. Maybe a tavern too, if she’s allowed to be greedy.

With strength she didn’t know she still had left, she manages to raise her arms above her head and tries to wave at the ship. She hopes they have a spyglass or just a very observant crew, and that the rain doesn’t interfere too much with their sight, because this is probably her only chance. 

“Hey!” she yells out. “Help!”

She continues yelling and waving until she physically can’t anymore, and she falls onto her knees in the wet sand. Her arms are aching, her throat is burning, her hair is sticking to her face and Miwa can’t tell if the water on her cheeks is mostly rain or tears. She wipes the water and hair away from her face and when she looks up, she sees a little rowboat being lowered into the sea from the big ship. Unfortunately that’s not all she sees, because when she takes a closer look at the ship, it’s clear that it didn't just appear black because she saw it from afar, but that it really is. From the wooden exterior to the sails and the flag, it’s all black. Miwa knows exactly what that means, and here she thought her luck couldn’t get worse. 

There is nothing to do but wait. She can’t run, and even if she could, she’s unfamiliar with her surroundings and outnumbered. The pirates would catch her in no time. Her only option is to greet them with the little dignity she has left; it’s either that or certain death. 

As the rowboat comes closer, Miwa can see that the three passengers aboard are all women. It strikes her as surprising, as all the frightening tales she heard as a child depicted pirates as frightening and fearless men who would slaughter anyone who stood in their way. Never had she heard such tales about women, though after her encounter with the mermaids last night —and Alisa today— she shouldn’t really be surprised. 

The pirates row into shore much faster than Miwa and Tobio have ever rowed, and they used to fish for a living. One of them, a short blonde girl, jumps off when the water is shallow enough to come up to her knees and makes her way to Miwa while the remaining two wait until they’re on the beach. 

The girl that reaches Miwa first hurriedly asks if she’s okay while grabbing at her arms and legs in a gentle manner and examining them like she’s looking for injuries. Miwa is too shocked to reply, and too tired. It seems that her fatigue has finally caught up to her, now that the adrenaline from waking up in a panic to the sight of a mermaid has worn off. 

“We should take her back to the ship, let Kiyoko have a look at her,” one of the pirates, a brown-haired woman, says.

“If she even makes it, it looks like she'll pass out and die any minute,” another says, this one with her hair covered by an emerald scarf.

“No, don’t say that,” the one currently holding her face with both her hands says. “She’s tough. I can tell.”

The brunette shrugs. “Oh well. If she dies on us we can just dump her in the sea.” 

Despite their careless attitudes, the three women help each other to carry a barely conscious Miwa onto the rowboat and then set course for the ship.

Miwa blacks out before they reach it.

—

This time when Miwa wakes up, it’s a more pleasant sensation, devoid of both sand and burning. A cup of water is held out in front of her as soon as she opens her eyes and she finds that she has enough strength in her arm to actually grab it. She’s lying on a mattress, a pillow propped under her head and a blanket laid over her body.

“Good morning,” a gentle voice says from beside her. Miwa turns her head to get a look at the person who greeted her and almost drops her cup when she sees her. 

Besides her sits the most gorgeous woman she has ever seen in her life, with dark glistening hair and eyes that can only be likened to sapphires. She’s almost as beautiful as Alisa. Miwa pinches herself to make sure she’s truly awake and then jolts in pain when she gets her confirmation. She wonders if the universe is out to taunt her. 

She takes another gulp of water before clearing her throat and answering the woman.

“Good morning.”

She smiles at Miwa, it’s faint and almost bashful, but it does the trick and makes Miwa feel more at ease. 

“My name is Kiyoko,” the woman says. “I’m the closest thing to a healer you’ll find among this crew.”

It takes a second for Miwa to recollect everything and piece it together, but when Kiyoko says her name, she remembers one of the pirates who picked her up from the island mentioning her. She had forgotten her circumstances for a moment, but now it’s all clear. She’s onboard a pirate ship, probably in the infirmary, and God knows what’s to come for her.

Miwa must look worried, because Kiyoko reaches out to lay a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, from what I can tell you have no serious injuries. Water, food and rest should get you back on your feet in no time.” 

Although that wasn’t Miwa’s main concern, she still lets out a breath of relief after hearing that at least it’s not her injuries taking her out.

“I’ll go and let the captain know that you’re awake. She’s been asking to see you.”

As soon as Miwa’s relief comes, it washes away again. Although Kiyoko the healer gave her nothing but reassurance and comfort, the pirates on the beach had no qualms about dumping her body in the ocean. She is not dead yet, and really has no reason believing anyone aboard wishes her harm, but just hearing the word captain and knowing it refers to someone leading a pirate crew instills a fear in her ingrained since childhood.

She takes another sip of her water, emptying her cup. She spots a pitcher on a table, but it’s out of her reach and she doesn’t trust her legs just yet. As she thinks over whether she should risk it or not, the door opens and Kiyoko comes back in, this time with a slightly shorter woman in tow. Kiyoko immediately spots Miwa’s empty glass and picks up the pitcher while the other woman marches right over to her bedside, bows down and stares at her with her arms crossed. 

If Miwa’s first impression of Kiyoko was that she is beautiful, then her first impression of this woman is that she is fierce. Her hair is blonde and cut haphazardly just below her chin in a way that frames her face in a surprisingly flattering way. It’s tucked behind her ears from which several golden hoops and chains hang and another hoop adorns her nose. She’s wearing a sheer white shirt under a lavishly embroidered coat with big golden buttons Miwa is sure are worth more than her farm. Aside from her clothes and jewelry adding to her air of intimidation, the woman is looking at Miwa so intensely she is sure she can see into her soul. She must like what she sees though, because the woman smirks before raising herself back up again, her arms still crossed.

“Very well, it seems like we got ourselves a good catch for once,” she says, eyes still pinned on Miwa. “I’m captain Tanaka Saeko, but we’re not big on formalities here; we’re all scum of the sea, after all.”

Miwa doesn’t know how to respond, her eyes flickering from captain Tanaka, to Kiyoko, to the wall, and then back to Tanaka again. She decides to return the gesture and give her name, or at least part of it. “My name is Kageyama. Thank you for rescuing me.”

Tanaka waves her off. “You shouldn’t thank me, you should thank little Hitoka who spotted you and demanded we row out to see if you would be anyone of value.”

“If she comes to see me, I will,” Miwa nods, thinking the name Hitoka must be referring to the short blonde girl who checked her for injuries back on the island. “But I want to thank you too, if you’re the one ultimately calling the shots around here.”

Tanaka smiles at that, seems pleased Miwa recognizes her superiority although she claimed there wasn’t a need for formalities. “I am, but I’m no tyrant. My girls get to weigh in on most decisions.”

Miwa finds that she likes Tanaka. Maybe it’s too soon to form that sort of option, and maybe it will come back to bite her later on, but she woke up this morning dreading for her life and now she finds herself unexpectedly at ease.

“Where are you taking me,” Miwa dares to ask.

“Depends on where you want to go,” Tanaka answers, shrugging her shoulders then uncrossing her arms to put them on her hips instead. “We can take you almost anywhere, for a price, of course.”

“How much for you to take me to Crow Island? I don’t have any money on me at the moment, but I can pay you once I get there.” 

Tanaka’s face almost seems to light up at the question. “Don’t worry about money, let’s just call it a small favor for now. I’ve got a feeling you could be useful.” Miwa doesn’t know how to feel about that statement, and she doesn’t get to ponder over it for very long before Tanaka continues talking. “Anything else, or should I go tell the crew about our change in course?”

“One more thing,” Miwa says without really thinking about it. “Have you ever met a mermaid named Alisa?” 

At the mention of Alisa, the smirk on Tanaka's face visibly softens into a faint smile that almost makes her look like a completely different person. Her gaze wanders from Miwa to the little round window on her left providing the room with morning sun. It almost looks like Tanaka is stuck in a memory when she utters her next words. “Ah yes, our paths have crossed a time or two before.”

Curiosity overtakes Miwa, but she doesn’t feel like she has the authority to pry, and thus leaves the topic alone. 

Captain Tanaka leaves the infirmary with well-wishes and promises to set the course for Miwa’s hometown. When they’re alone again, Kiyoko brings out a new set of clothes for Miwa to wear, consisting of a simple white shirt like the one Tanaka wore under her coat, and simple grey pants. 

“We didn’t want to undress you entirely for the sake of your privacy,” she says, and Miwa once again is struck by that feeling of ease and comfort.

“Thank you,” Miwa says as Kiyoko puts the clothes down on her bed. 

“I’ll bring you some breakfast while you change, then you need to rest some more.” Kiyoko walks out of the infirmary and Miwa is once again left alone.

Changing clothes is easier than anticipated. Her limbs are still stiff, but not as heavy as they previously were — a good night’s sleep and some hydration worked wonders. Miwa folds her old clothes and puts them on the floor beside the bed, she’s not sure they can be salvaged. The thick coat she wore when she left the capital is nowhere in sight, and she can’t remember if she still wore it when Alisa left her on the island or if it has been lost somewhere in the sea. There are quite a few missing pieces, and Miwa can’t puzzle together all the events that transpired since the merchant ship first set off. All she knows is that she can no longer take anything for certain, whether that be her whereabouts or her safety. There’s also the prospect of the favor she now owes Tanaka, a pirate captain. Although none of the women she’s met so far have been anything but pleasant, she doesn’t trust them yet. Ultimately, they’re strangers—outlaws and criminals, at that. 

Before Miwa can grumble any further about what her favor to Tanaka may entail, Kiyoko shows up again. This time carrying something in a small bowl that smells divine. It’s soup, pleasantly warm and filling for something made at sea.

After Miwa has downed her soup, she plans to strike up a conversation with Kiyoko. There are so many things she’d liked to ask her, both about the ship and the crew but also about her profession as a healer. How did she come to gain medical knowledge and was it before or after she joined Tanaka’s crew? None of these questions get to be uttered, because sleep overtakes Miwa once the warmth of the soup spreads through her body.

The next time she wakes up, the room is dark. The window that previously provided sunlight is now undetectable and Miwa deducts that the day has passed into night. She feels oddly energized, a feeling she hasn’t felt for a few days now. Her mind has cleared and her body has strengthened. She knows leaving her warm bed to wander out and explore the ship would be exceptionally foolish, and yet that’s exactly what she plans to do. 

The infirmary is placed on the main deck, presumably because it would be hard to transport patients up and down stairs and ladders. When Miwa opens the door she is met with a clear, starry sky. It’s a pleasant evening with almost no wind and only the sounds of waves lightly hitting the hull of the ship as company. Miwa finds a crate to sit down on and takes a deep breath. There truly isn’t anything more magical than a clear night at sea. With her face tilted up towards the night sky, she almost misses the figure approaching her until it sits down beside her.

“Didn’t think I’d find you here, up and about,” Captain Tanaka says. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I’ve rested enough,” Miwa replies, although she can feel her previous burst of energy slowly slip away.

They sit in silence for a while before Tanaka speaks up again. “Earlier you asked me about Alisa. Did you happen to encounter her yourself?”

“Yes, she rescued me from being drowned by another mermaid,” Miwa explains. “She’s the one who put me on that island where you found me.”

“I see.” 

Miwa waits for Tanaka to elaborate, maybe offer a story of her own meetings with the mermaid, but she doesn’t, so Miwa takes it upon herself to ask.

“Before taking off and leaving me on the island, she told me something vague about someone coming soon. Do you think she was referring to you and your crew?” Miwa let’s her eyes wander from the stars over to Tanaka, who she finds is already looking at her.

“Alisa talked about me?” Tanaka asks.

“Not directly, she just said, ‘she will be here soon’ before swimming away, and then your ship showed up.”

It’s hard to tell with only the moonlight illuminating the ship, but Miwa thinks Tanaka is blushing a bit. Her face looks softer, a stark contrast from the confident look she wore when Miwa first met her in the infirmary earlier.

“I rescued her once,” Tanaka says in a soft voice, like she’s reminiscing about the memory as she retells it. “She was caught in a net, and God knows what would’ve happened to her if anyone else found her. Death, if she was lucky, something far more cruel, if she was not.” Tanaka's face changes into something much harsher at the mention of Alisa’s alternate fate. She takes a breath, presumably to rid herself of building anger and then finishes her story. “I’m glad to hear that she’s doing well, and that she’s somewhere out there watching over us.”

Miwa takes a second to let it all sink in. How a pirate captain, out of all people, would show mercy to a mermaid. Miwa knows Alisa is different, otherwise she wouldn’t be alive right now, but it’s still surprising to hear. Another part of the story also caught her interest, and she finds herself asking about it before thinking. “What do you mean by saying that something more cruel than death could’ve happened?”

“I presume you know about the vicious nature of mermaids?” Tanaka asks.

“All too well,” Miwa says, shuddering at the memory of being drowned.

Tanaka doesn’t seem to take notice, or she leaves it alone. Either way Miwa is grateful.

“Legend has it that mermaids weren’t always the evil creatures we encounter today, but a peaceful folk who kept to themselves most of the time,” Tanaka begins to explain. “It changed when one of them ventured up to the surface and fell in love with a sailor. The sailor didn’t return the affection, but when he got injured and the mermaid wept for him, he noticed that he immediately got better, and thus kept the mermaid around. He used the tears, sold them and made a profit, all while constantly breaking the mermaids heart. When the rest of the clan found out about this, they weren’t happy about it, and decided to take action. The sailor was drowned and a new age, one of revenge, began.” 

Miwa finds herself captivated by Tanaka’s words. She has a charming voice, but more than that she’s speaking with such empathy that Miwa can’t do anything but listen.

“Capturing a mermaid is hard since they have the power of seduction and hypnosis, yet countless people have tried. The reason for this is because if you manage to, the amounts of money people would spend for their tears, their scales, or their hair would make you set for life.”

A cloud passes by above, obstructing the moonlight and plunging them into darkness for a few seconds. 

“Why didn’t you capture Alisa then. It seems like it was the perfect opportunity,” Miwa can’t help but wonder.

Tanaka chuckles. “You’d think so right? Since we’re pirates and all. But I’d like to believe I still have somewhat of a moral compass, and torturing an innocent creature for profit is not something I take lightly.”

It shouldn’t matter to Miwa what Tanaka and her crew got up to in the past, yet the statement brings her relief. The pirate ship is solely a mode of transportation she happened upon on chance, and she’ll probably never see any of the crew mates again once she reaches Crow Island. And still, knowing she’s not surrounded by the heartless crooks from the cautionary tales is reassuring.

“How did you end up being the captain of this crew?” Miwa promptly regrets asking the question when she sees Tanaka’s jaw going rigid and her eyes turning cold.

“You should go to bed, it’s cold out here and you need to rest,” Tanaka says, but it sounds more like an order.

Miwa realizes she’s overstayed her welcome, and that although Tanaka might come off as polite and even friendly, there are more sides to her that Miwa hasn’t seen yet. She doesn’t argue with Tanaka, she knows her place. 

“You’re right, I should retire for the night,” Miwa says and stands up. “I wish you a pleasant night, captain.”

“Same to you, Kageyama, I’ll see you in the morning.”

That night, Miwa dreams of mermaids and sailors and pirates. She dreams of tears falling over her like rain, of scales gleaming like gold, and familiar silver hair. It’s not a troublesome dream. On the contrary, it’s quite pleasant. 

Miwa is awoken by sunlight hitting her eyes and the sweet smell of cinnamon and porridge wafting through the air. Kiyoko isn’t there, but she left a note at the bedside table besides the bowl telling Miwa to eat and enjoy her breakfast. The porridge, just like the previous day’s soup, is warm and delicious. Miwa wonders who’s responsible for cooking, because whoever it is truly knows what they’re doing. Once she’s eaten, she notices that Kiyoko also left a fresh change of clothes for her. The outfit is identical to the one she wore yesterday, with the exception of the pants being brown. She cleans herself the best she can with water from the pitcher and gets dressed before venturing out on deck to continue the exploration of the ship she began last night.

The sky is bright blue and without a cloud in sight, it seems the weather kept its pleasant manner throughout the night. The deck is lively, with women loitering everywhere Miwa can see. Some are playing cards, some are eating, some are working, and some are just enjoying the sunshine. Kiyoko is standing right in front of her, talking to a girl with brown hair that Miwa finds oddly familiar. Tanaka is nowhere to be seen, Miwa imagines she’s probably busy with important captain duties. Before Miwa can walk over to Kiyoko to ask her about a tour of the ship, a dagger followed by a shriek flies towards Miwa and burrows itself right in front of her feet. It all happens so quickly, Miwa wouldn’t have been able to dodge it had it landed any closer. 

A blonde girl picks the dagger up, struggling a big to get it out from the wood. “I’m so sorry, really sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip I-” the apologies keep on spilling from the girls lips while Miwa stands there frozen.

“It’s okay,” Miwa manages to say after a while, and the girl finally stops apologizing and looks up at her with wide brown eyes. It looks like she wants to say something more, but another girl interrupts her.

“Oi, Hitoka! Training isn’t over!”

The blonde, who Miwa presumes is called Hitoka, scrambles over to the other girl with her dagger in hand and they continue whatever they were doing. It looks like a mixture of choreographed sparring and drunken bar fighting. Miwa settles on a crate to watch it for a while. Both the girls look young, short and scrawny, like someone easily taken in a fight. But something in the way they move tells Miwa it wouldn’t be that easy. Hitoka’s opponent has brown wavy hair tied up at the back and she looks to be slightly faster than the blonde. When Hitoka finally slips and loses, another girl steps in to take her place. Hitoka sits down next to Miwa, where a small crowd has gathered to watch the fighting.

“Akane is amazing,” Hitoka says. “She’s the youngest aboard but no one can take her when it comes to knife-fights.”

Miwa isn’t sure she’s talking to her at first, but then she realizes everyone else around probably already knows about Akane. 

“I train with her every day, but you can’t even compare our abilities,” Hitoka continues. 

“Don’t say that. You looked pretty evenly matched up to me,” Miwa says, trying to console her even though her words didn’t sound sad, just honest.

Hitoka shakes her head. “She went easy on me, but it’s okay! I don’t need to be as good as her, I just need to improve.” 

Miwa thinks that’s a good way to look at things, but before she can tell Hitoka so, the girl lets out a panicked sound. “Ah, I never formally introduced myself! I’m so sorry, you must have thought me so rude. My name is Yachi Hitoka and I’m so glad you’re still alive because I was really sure you were going to die on me back on the island.”

“Oh,” Miwa says, recalling Tanaka mentioning a Hitoka when she first woke up in the infirmary. “My name is Kageyama. Thank you for rescuing me. It’s nice to formally meet you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that, it’s what anyone would have done!” Hitoka smiles at her brightly, and Miwa thinks that no, not everyone would have done that. 

They continue to observe the fighting for a while. Miwa is sure more than an hour has passed by now and although Akane is sweating, she’s not faltering in any of her moves. It’s truly impressive. 

“Is Akane the best fighter in general or just with knives?” Miwa asks Hitoka, who is so engrossed in the fight she jumps a bit when addressed. 

“Ah no, I wouldn’t say that. The captain is undefeated when it comes to sword-fighting and Yukie is probably the strongest at hand to hand.”

Miwa hums. She’d quite like to see Tanaka in action.

As if the universe read her mind, Tanaka emerges from a door beside the one Miwa went through earlier and steps out on deck in all her glory. The captain truly is a sight to behold in her embellished jacket, big leather boots and jewelry. Miwa thinks the captain is going to get mad at the crew for seemingly starting a fighting tournament instead of working, but instead Tanka starts to laugh, bright and boisterous.

“Akane,” she calls out. “Take me on in the next round.”

The girl in question nods while her opponent yells that she hasn’t lost yet. Alas, she does within a minute and Tanaka takes her place. 

“What do you say we bring out the big boys,” Tanaka says, laying a hand on the sword on her hip for clarification. 

“Bring it on,” Akane says and someone brings a sword over to her as well.

If Miwa thought that Akane was impressive, then Tanaka is in a class of her own. Miwa sits mesmerized, following the captain’s every move. Miwa doesn’t know a lot about fighting aside from drunken brawls, but she knows that she would be absolutely terrified if she was the one standing there, sword in hand, meeting Tanaka’s iron gaze. Before she knows it, Akane is defeated and the crowd cheers. Tanaka bows and soaks in the praise, asking if anyone else is up for the challenge, to which she gets no replies. Again, she laughs and Miwa thinks she could get drunk off the sound. 

When Tanaka has stopped laughing, she spins her sword around before pointing it at the middle of the crowd, or more specifically, at Miwa.

“What about you?” she asks. “Want to get a taste of the pirate life before we arrive at Crow Island tonight?”

Miwa is stunned, both at the revelation that they’re so close to her home but also at Tanaka’s challenge. She’s not usually one to back out, but this is a fight she knows she’ll lose. She doesn’t want the captain to take offense though, and she doesn’t think she’s in a situation to refuse, so she stands up and makes her way over on shaking legs. 

“I’ll go easy on you,” Tanaka promises. Miwa still doesn’t feel reassured.

The sword Akane hands her feels heavy and awkward in her hand; she’s never held one before and she doesn’t really know how to. Tanaka takes notice and walks over to adjust her grip. Her hands are warm, strong, and sure in how they position Miwa’s. 

“I’ve never held a sword before,” Miwa admits.

“I figured,” Tanaka says from beside her, breath hitting Miwa’s cheek, “but I’ll teach you.” 

When Tanaka is content with Miwa’s grip on the sword, she steps back to show her how to position her feet. 

Miwa feels cold. 

Tanaka instructs her on how to keep her balance, how to move fluently and how to read her opponent. The crowd seems to realize there won’t be any real fighting going on anytime soon and one by one they disappear to continue their chores for the day. Miwa doesn’t know if she’s relieved by the lack of attention or worried about being alone with a woman who could kill her at any second. Though she reasons she still could have done that with onlookers since she is the captain and this is a pirate ship. Miwa tries to keep up with Tanaka’s instructions but fumbles in most of her moves. She’s sweaty and out of breath after an embarrassingly short time and they keep going until Miwa has lost count of the times she’s dropped her sword. Tanaka never lashes out at her incompetence, just picks it up for them to start again. Miwa thinks she must have the patience of a saint.

When the sun stands at its highest point in the sky, a woman rings a bell and shouts that lunch is ready. Miwa is grateful for the break, if they had kept it up for any longer, she is afraid her arms would’ve fallen off. Tanaka takes Miwa’s sword from her and they make their way over to a table set up in the middle of the main deck. 

“Usually we eat down in the canteen and more sporadically, but today is a special day,” Tanaka says and hands Miwa a bowl of rice from the table.

“How come?” Miwa asks while breathing in the steam from the rice.

“The weather is the nicest it’s been in a while, and we have a guest,” Tanaka winks at Miwa and she can feel her already flushed cheeks getting redder.

Miwa is not certain that her perception of the passage of time is accurate. Everything is blurry and it feels like her drowning was simultaneously yesterday and a million years ago. In the same way she’s spent two conscious days aboard Tanaka’s ship, but she strangely feels at home more so here than she ever did during the years she lived in the capital. When she first set off on her journey back to her hometown, she saw it both as a sign of defeat and as a fresh start. She would go back to her roots and then decide what to do from there. Maybe she will pick up fishing for a living again or maybe she will set off on a new adventure. Either way she finds that she will miss this ship and its crew who welcomed her unexpectedly but warmly. It’s a bit jarring to know her departure from them is so near, and that in a week or so they’ll be sailing foreign waters and have forgotten about the sporadic visitor they left on Crow Island. 

After eating, Miwa retreats to her bed in the infirmary to sleep. Although practicing sword fighting with Tanaka and moving her stiff muscles again felt good, it also made her exhausted. Kiyoko checks up on her in the afternoon and gives her some leftover rice from lunch. She spends the rest of her time out on deck talking to Hitoka and Yukie, a woman who she finds out was also part of her rescue mission and the chef who made all the delicious food she has devoured during her stay. They laugh and share stories and Miwa feels her heart sink more and more as the sun sets. When land comes into sight it’s a bittersweet feeling; on one hand, Miwa is glad her harrowing journey has come to its end, and that she’ll soon be safe and sound on familiar grounds. On the other hand, she wouldn’t mind if it could last a little longer, and if she could get to know these women a little better.

As the ship nears the once familiar harbor, Miwa is reminded of the favor she promised Tanaka in exchange. Although the captain brushed it off at first, Miwa is a bit worried at what such a promise could entail. She had mentioned the money she would have access to once she reached their destination, but such material riches seemed of little interest to Tanaka, who could probably acquire them easily by other means. 

The sun has caved to the moon and the ship docks, cloaked by the darkness. There are no people around, and the silence is eerie. It didn’t used to be like this, but with the new trading routes and traveling made easier, the younger generations found no point in sticking around. This is the case with not just Crow Island, but with other small islands and villages all over the country. The once vibrant, self-sustaining community is now dependent on the merchants and independent traders who pass by and much like Miwa herself left, many of the children she grew up with did too. 

The only sign of life comes from the little tavern up on a hill from the harbor. The locals often like to joke about how you have to be sober enough to walk up the hill, but you can be drunk enough to roll down. Miwa herself never spent much time there — drinking didn’t appeal to her until she stepped foot in the capital. The few times she visited the tavern, she had ulterior motives in mind. The stories told by people under the influence were much grander and magnified than those told by the clear minded, and as a child Miwa would often seek out the best story-tellers, much to her grandfather’s dismay. 

“They seem to be having a good time.” 

Miwa is too lost in her nostalgia to notice Tanaka sneak up behind her, and the sound of her voice startles her.

“Yes, they do,” Miwa replies when she has recovered. They stand side by side at the railing, looking up at the people outside the tavern. They’re loud; you can hear them laughing, talking, and singing from down in the harbor. They sound carefree, like everything that has ever weighed them down got washed away for at least a night.

“Feel like joining them? I know some of my girls have been looking forward to a good night out,” Tanaka says, raising one eyebrow in question.

A part of Miwa wants to say yes, to prolong her adventure for one more night. Another, more rational part of her, is the one who speaks.

“I can’t,” she says. “I have to wake up early tomorrow so I can catch my neighbor before she goes to work and to retrieve the funds she’s kept for us.”

What Miwa doesn’t disclose is the fact that she has no idea if Kita Yumie still lives where she used to, or even if she’s still alive. Her neighbor was of old age already when Miwa left the island, and at that point Tobio still lived there and cared for the house and garden. Yumie had promised to look out for him, the house, and any valuables they left behind, but if she still upholds that promise is unbeknownst to Miwa. 

“I see.” Tanaka nods and Miwa swears there is a glimpse of disappointment in her eyes. “I guess this is where we part ways then.”

“It seems so, yes,” Miwa says, feeling like she has much more she wants to say, but no way to articulate it. “Thank you again, for rescuing me.”

Tanaka brushes her off with a faint laugh. “We’re outlaws, not savages.”

Miwa opens her mouth to ask the question that’s been in the front of her mind for the last few hours, but Tanaka interrupts her before she can say anything.

“Before you ask about the favor, because I can see you’re still thinking about it, don’t worry.”

Miwa tries again but Tanaka is quicker.

“I don’t think this is the last time our paths will cross. I’ll see you again, all in due time.”

A few of the girls walk past them, talking excitedly about the plans for the night. The air is filled with anticipation. All Miwa can do is nod at Tanaka, a faint smile on her lips, before Kiyoko approaches her with a sack of her clothing and she’s ushered off the ship with the rest of the crew. They part ways at the foot of the hill, with the pirates heading for the lively tavern and Miwa heading for her empty childhood home.

It’s funny, the way she can still remember which short-cuts to take, which meadows to cross and which people that used to live in the houses she passes by. It’s familiar and nostalgic, almost painfully so. Her childhood seems like a lifetime ago, centuries instead of decades. She passes by the Kita family’s farm and not long after that, the house in which she spent more than half of her life comes into view together with the big pear trees she used to climb as a child. She wonders briefly if they still bear fruit, and if anyone has plucked them in the years of her absence. The door is locked, which eases a worry she didn’t know she had until now. She had lost her key somewhere in the capital, but she finds the spare beneath a small rock at the back of the house in the same place it has always been hidden. The garden is not as maintained as it used to be, but it’s not overgrown or unrecognizable, which gives Miwa hope that Yumie might still look after the place. 

The door creaks when opened, and so does the floor when Miwa steps inside. 

After a long and harrowing journey, she’s finally home.

It’s dark, and the air is stale and dusty. Miwa opens a few windows to ventilate, but she doesn’t dare to light any candles, as they would attract bugs. Most of the furniture is covered by sheets, likely something Tobio did before leaving the house uninhabited. It really hasn’t been that long since she last stood here, but instead of being accompanied by her grandfathers and brother's voices, all she can hear is cicadas and her own breathing. The house needs to be cleaned, but Miwa can’t be bothered with it tonight. She prepares a place to sleep, closes the windows and hopes that the morning light will wake her in time to catch Yumie before she goes to tend to her fields.

__

Just like the previous morning, Miwa is awoken by the sun. Judging by its low position in the sky, it’s still early in the morning and she’s right on time.

Seeing the house in daylight is almost no different from seeing it in the dark. The white dust-covered sheets create a sense of estrangement, and although this could easily be fixed by removing said sheets and restoring the house to its former lived in state, Miwa finds herself reluctant to do so. Her decision to move back into the house she left for the same reason she left the mainland a week ago would be final then.

She gets dressed in the same clothes she wore the previous day and decides to forgo breakfast. The trek to the neighboring farm isn’t long, and when she raps her knuckles at the door the sun has barely risen more than it had when she first woke up.

Kita Yumie looks about the same as she did five years ago, with the addition of a cane. Her grey hair is fastened at the back of her neck in a bun and her wrinkles are the kind that tell a story, one of a long and hard but happy life. 

“Miwa, my dear.” Yumie smiles at her. “It’s good to see you. I wasn’t expecting you to come back so soon.”

Miwa returns the smile, relieved that the old woman still looks strong and healthy.

“Good morning. I’m sorry for not writing about my arrival.”

“I don’t mind.” Yumie waves her off. “You’re welcome here anytime. Come in and have some tea with me.”

Miwa follows the old woman into her home, noticing a slight limp in her step.

“You look the same as the day I waved you off at the harbor, how long has it been?” Yumie asks while pulling out a chair, gesturing for Miwa to sit down.

“Five years I believe.”

“That long? It feels like it was only yesterday that your brother took off.”

Miwa thanks her when she’s handed a cup of tea. 

“Time is a funny thing,” Yumie remarks. “As you grow older, the years get jumbled together and you lose track of them. I’m not sure I could even tell you my own age.”

Miwa smiles at her. “You look well.”

“Years of diligent work on both body and soul can’t be broken by a bit of aging, my dear.”

Miwa has missed this. The familiarity and wisdom of the town elders that she didn’t have in the capital, and that she didn’t know she needed. After the passing of her grandfather, they all swarmed to the house to help her and Tobio out the best they could. Miwa used to find them bothersome, used to think that their presence was suffocating and useless. As a child, all she wanted was to grow up, to be seen as big and strong. Now, she realizes that she really needed the support and guidance, and that she still does. 

She takes a sip of her tea. It tastes like summer; herbs, briar rose, and pear.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how come you’ve lived here on this island for all your life?”

Yumie smiles like she’s letting Miwa in on a secret. “I haven’t,” she says. “I left my hometown in my youth, just like you did, to find a greater adventure.”

“On Crow Island?” 

Yumie laughs, it’s faint and breathy, another sign of her age. “When you find the right people, every day is a new adventure no matter how repetitive your life might seem. My people happened to be here, but I have a feeling that yours are not.”

Miwa’s thoughts immediately wander to Tanaka and her crew, to the women she spent just a few days with, but who welcomed her like an old friend. She thinks of Alisa, who selflessly rescued her and made her wonder about what else is out there below the surface. 

When she lived in the capital, she missed the sea. Her solution was to move back home and return to her former occupation as a fisherman, but is that truly what she wants? 

“Thank you for the tea but I’m afraid I’ll have to take my leave now.”

Yumie looks at her knowingly, with eyes that make Miwa believe the old woman is more sly than she first looks.

“Let me get your money for you. It won’t take long.”

Miwa shakes her head. “Save it for Tobio.”

She thanks Yumie once again before rushing out the door and sprinting back to her own house. The sack Kiyoko gave her is still neatly tied with her few belongings inside and she picks it up before locking the door and hiding the key in the garden where she found it. 

The walk to the harbor seems much longer now than it did the previous night. 

Miwa has done some pretty reckless things in her life; leaving her home behind to catch up with a pirate crew beats all of them.

The chance of the ship still being docked is slim, but it’s there. If the girls drank as much as they talked of doing, they should still be sleeping in the harbor.

The sun beats down her back and the grass caresses her legs. She wishes she had worn lighter clothes. By the time she crosses the last meadow and the harbor comes into sight she’s panting and sweating. During her years in the city she had forgotten how cruel the country summer could be. 

The black ship gently rocks on the waves brave enough to enter the harbor. 

Miwa closes her eyes and smiles. She lets herself take a moment to breathe before running the last bit down.

It’s still early enough in the morning that the island hasn’t fully awakened yet. Except for the fishermen who leave before the sunrise, and the farmers like the Kita family, few islanders see it fit to start their days early. The fish market will be bustling a little before noon, but until then Miwa could wander around town and reminisce about the past in silence if she so wished. But she doesn’t, right now she wants to leave Crow Island almost as bad as she did five years ago. She’ll return one day, when she’s grey and old, if the sea doesn’t claim her for itself before that. 

Seeing the pirate ship from the outside is a bit daunting, Miwa thinks the dark wood paired with its size would be enough to intimidate someone even if they didn’t know the ship's inhabitants. For her, though, it’s already become a bit familiar. 

“When I said I had a feeling I’d be seeing you again, I didn’t think it’d be this soon.” 

Tanaka is leaning against the railing with her arms crossed, dressed in her typical coat and with wet hair brushed back from the face. She looks like she just woke up, but even from a distance Miwa can tell that her eyes are clear and that last night's drinking didn’t leave much of a trace. 

“Neither did I,” Miwa replies. “Life is funny that way, I guess.”

Tanaka smiles, it’s wide, bright and contagious; when she lets out a laugh Miwa can’t help but join in.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Come on board!” Saeko says in between laughs, and Miwa does just so.

—

Miwa gets assigned a bed in between Yukie the chef and Akane the prodigy fighter. It’s small, barely fit for a fully grown woman, but it’s hers. She has the best sleep of her life in it when she finally gives in to slumber on her first night aboard the ship. The second night, she finds out that Yukie snores. The other crew members offer her ear plugs and advice on how to flip and position the girl to escape the sound, but Miwa finds it kind of calming. The sounds of other humans sleeping beside her is one she didn’t know until now that she had missed. She used to share a bedroom with Tobio, who uttered nonsensical phrases in his sleep, and after she left home she was one of the countless people in the capital who wandered from room to room until she found somewhere to settle down for a bit. Sharing a sleeping space with others is in no way troublesome for Miwa, but rather the opposite.

During her days, Miwa trains with Akane and Hitoka, who are determined to make a fighter out of her. The process is slow, but steady. 

“I don’t think I was meant for this,” Miwa huffs as sweat is running down her face. “You should practice without me, I’m only slowing you down.”

Miwa isn’t sure why the two younger women decided to take her under their wings, wasting time on teaching her when they could be polishing their own skills.

“Oh no, Kageyama, don’t think I’m letting you go that easy,” Akane says, picking up the sword Miwa just dropped and holding it out for her.

“It’s not that I’m trying to skip out on training, I just think it would be more worthwhile for you to spar without a beginner like me.”

Hitoka pokes Miwa in the side with her sheathed knife, she seems to be more at ease around Miwa now that she isn’t a stranger anymore. There is less apologizing and more playfulness. “Saeko asked us to, you know? Can’t go against captain’s orders.”

A thing Miwa has noticed during her days onboard the ship —both before and after becoming an official member of the crew— is that the girls mainly refer to each other by their given names. Tanaka had told her during their first meeting that they weren’t big on formalities, but Miwa still finds it odd to call the captain, the one in charge, by her given name and without the title.

Miwa wonders if there will come a day when she too will call Tanaka by her given name, when she’ll call her Saeko. It feels oddly intimate, which makes no sense since she hasn’t got any problems with calling Hitoka or Kiyoko by their given names. She reasons that it has to do with the fact that Tanaka isn't just a regular crew member, but the captain.

“Kageyama, did you hear me? Saeko wants you to be able to fight, should we stumble upon any trouble.”

Miwa turns to face Hitoka, having to tilt her head down a bit to look her in the eyes. “Trouble?” she asks.

“You know, rivaling crews, blood-thirsty pirates, all sorts of sea creatures, the navy…” Hitoka counts up all possible threats and Miwa gulps. Somehow she had forgotten about these things, forgotten that pirate life isn’t just freely sailing the seas, but also protecting that freedom by force. 

“You know, we’re entering troubling waters,” Akane says, almost sounding excited at the prospect of a brawl. “Last time we sailed here we looted so much gold from a passing navy ship that had been taken over by it’s prisoners.”

Akane begins to vividly retell the fight. Miwa gulps at the gruesome details.

“Back to training it is then.” Miwa wipes the sweat away from her forehead, positions her feet and holds her sword in a steady grip, ready to lose another round against Akane.

After getting thoroughly defeated, Miwa finds herself in the infirmary. It’s just a shallow graze, not even worth being called a cut, but Akane insisted that Miwa should ask Kiyoko to take a look just in case. Miwa thinks it’s kind of amusing, the way Akane looks after her, almost like an older sister. 

Akane is ten years younger than Miwa, something that both surprised her when she found out, and at the same time didn’t. Akane may look young, but she’s clever and fierce and most of all sensible. Although, Miwa supposses traits like those aren’t necessarily linked to age. So far in her life, Miwa has never felt old. She never felt that she ‘became of age’ once she reached her twenties, or that the respect suddenly gained was truly earned. Of course, she would sometimes tease Tobio when they were children, claiming superiority because she was the oldest, but that was just a child’s playful words. Miwa has never felt old, despite knowing that the years are starting to pile up, and her youth is slipping away into plain and simple adulthood. Despite being the newest member of the crew, she’s fairly certain she’s among the oldest. Maybe that would bother most people, to not be the more experienced and wiser elder, but the beginner. It doesn’t bother Miwa, though, she is rather enjoying being treated as such for once, after taking on the caregiver role for so long. 

Kiyoko washes the graze on Miwa’s left arm. Her hands are warm and soft, unlike the rough hands of Akane and Hitoka. Miwa wonders how Kiyoko ended up here, on this ship and in this crew. Kiyoko is a healer, or at least as close to a healer as you can come, she is not a fighter. Miwa wonders why she isn’t studying medicine somewhere in the capital, why she isn’t working towards erasing the ‘closest thing to’ before the word healer in her title. She wonders these things, and so she asks.

“Kiyoko, don’t feel obliged to answer, but how come you ended up in this crew?” 

“Hmm…” Kiyoko wipes away the water from Miwa’s arm with a rag, without the red line of blood she can’t tell there was ever a scrape. “I can’t tell you the full story without divulging events that aren’t mine to tell. But one thing I can say is that I have more faith in our captain than I do in the government.” 

“Would you have a place to go, should you be forced to leave the ship?” Miwa asks, as it’s something she’s thought about a lot the last few days. She herself has got a house to return to anytime she so wishes, but she knows it’s not the same for most of the other women.

“No, I would not, nor do I desire one.”

Miwa huffs. “Do you think I’m stupid, then, for leaving a perfectly good house and a good sum of money behind to sleep in a cot and live in poverty?”

“No, everyone has got their reasons,” Kiyoko says, like it’s as simple as that.

“But I own a house and land. I would be perfectly fine staying on the island and living out the rest of my days there,” Miwa stresses.

“But would you be happy?”

The question comes like a punch to the gut. Miwa knows the answer, but facing the truth and answering it is harder than she thought it would be. It is one thing to secretly think it in the back of her head, but it’s another to voice it out loud, to admit it to another living person.

“No,” she confesses. “I wouldn’t.”

“Then that’s reason enough,” Kiyoko states. “It’s no crime to do things solely because you want to.”

Miwa goes to sleep with those words echoing in her mind. She’s still the newest crew member. Unripe, useless fruit that has to stay in the sun for a couple of more days. She is older, yet treated and trained like a child, and she is enjoying herself. She’s still not convinced that her choice to join the crew was the wise or right one, but it’s the one she made, and she knows that if given another chance, she wouldn’t have made a different one.

When Miwa isn’t training with Hitoka and Akane or helping out on deck, she spends her time reading. Tanaka has an impressive collection of books in the captain’s suit, to which she’s given Miwa permission to enter as she pleases. Miwa knows she isn’t the only one with that privilege, but after asking around she found out she’s among the few who uses it. It feels strange to enter someone’s private quarters and rummage through their belongings, but Tanaka has assured her that it’s fine, encouraging her actually. There are few things better than settling down with a book after a long and tiring day of work. Sometimes Tanaka will even join her, picking a book for herself and bringing it out on deck to enjoy the still summer evenings by Miwa’s side. They exchange few words, but the presence of another is comforting. 

Miwa wishes she could Talk to Tanaka more, since their conversations are always pleasant and interesting. There are things stopping her though, like the fact that Tanaka is now not only the captain, but Miwa’s captain, and she is unsure of how to strike up a normal, informal conversation with her like she would with the other members of the crew. There is also something else about her, something that makes Miwa second guess every reply she gives in their conversations. Tanaka is intimidating, and not just because she’s the captain. With or without that title, Miwa is sure that Tanaka would still be as confident, still be as sure of herself as she is, still be as fierce. 

When Miwa first saw Alisa and Kiyoko, she was struck by their classic beauty. Tanaka is also beautiful, but in a way that goes beyond just her appearance. It’s an alcompassing beauty, both in body and soul, that makes Miwa want to impress her, and also fear her. It’s a bit ridiculous, as Tanaka has been nothing but kind and compassionate towards her, but it’s the truth. 

—

It’s a cloudy morning, still warm and humid like any other summer day, but foggy, when Kaori spots a ship in the distance and rings the bell. Miwa has never heard the bell ring before, she’s only heard of it. The bell that signals that they should prepare themselves for an unpleasant — and possibly violent — encounter. 

Yukie grips Miwa’s arm. “Come with me,” she says and leads Miwa below deck and into a room she’s never entered before. 

It seems like a lifetime ago when she first came on board and wanted to explore every nook and cranny of the ship. Yukie lights a lamp and it becomes clear that they’ve entered a storage. And not just any storage, but a weaponry. Miwa lets her hand fall to a cannonball resting on a crate, she’s never seen one up close before, only heard them fly in the distance. 

“Grab as many of those as you can carry,” Yukie says and gestures to the cannonball Miwa is already touching. “We don’t know yet if we’ll need them but it’s never wrong to prepare.”

Miwa isn’t weak, her arms might not be bulging with muscles, but she used to row for a living which built up her strength. Yet, she cannot carry more than two cannonballs up the stairs at a time. Up on deck she sees Akane, the girl is almost vibrating with anticipation. Hitoka is by her side, fidgeting with her hands and looking more nervous than excited. 

“How’s it looking, Kaori?” Miwa hears Tanaka ask as she walks by her to place the cannonballs by the cannons.

“It’s definitely a black flag.” Kaori confirms, lowering her spyglass. “And they’re headed towards us.”

“It’s about time,” Tanaka says before suddenly turning towards Miwa and shooting her a grin. “I was worried Kageyama here would get bored by pirate life if we didn’t get some action soon.” 

A couple of the girls nearby decide to pat Miwa on the shoulders as they walk by or jab her with their elbows in a friendly manner, teasing her about Tanaka’s comment. It strangely makes Miwa feel a bit more at ease about the situation. 

Miwa doesn’t have her own sword, or knife, or any sort of weapon. She knows Akane owns several different weapons, and can tell the story of how she came to acquire each and every one. Tanaka has swords lining the walls of her suite, and Hitoka keeps some knives wrapped in cloth under her pillow. Every practice, Miwa has borrowed weapons from the other girls, but right now she’s at a loss. What is the proper etiquette for asking to borrow a sword in the midst of preparing for a fight? 

The problem solves itself. Miwa is about to go look for Akane after she’s done with lifting all the cannonballs when someone taps on her shoulder.

“Here,” Tanaka says and holds out a sword for Miwa to take. It’s a beautiful and fearsome blade — so sharp it shines without the help of the sun. 

Miwa takes it a bit hesitantly, unsure if she is deserving of such a fine sword.

“I still don’t know how to fight,” she tells Tanaka.

“Yes you do,” Tanaka says firmly, as if to keep Miwa from arguing. “And if you don’t, you’re about to learn.”

Tanaka leaves her side, yelling out orders to the other girls scurrying around. Miwa is unsure about what to do, where to go, how to act. A month ago she had never even held a sword, and soon might have to wield one to defend her life. Yukie finds her in the midst of these thoughts, tugging at her shirt sleeve lightly to get her attention.

“It’s fine if you want to wait it out below deck,” she says. “That’s what I did during my first fight. I stayed hidden in the cabinet, sitting on a bag of rice, hoping no one would find me.” 

Miwa is surprised at the revelation, she didn’t take Yukie for one to cower away from a fight. Though she supposed there is a difference from a friendly challenge and a fight to the death. 

“I want to help,” Miwa says, almost to herself. “In whatever way I can, I want to help.”

“That’s great, then. But just know that no one will judge you if you let the more experienced girls handle it.”

Miwa nods, she wouldn’t judge anyone for backing down either, it would be the smart thing to do. 

The fog distorts her vision, but from what Miwa can see, the rivalling ship appears to be smaller than theirs. Miwa wonders what would cause them to want to attack. Greed, or sheer blood-thirst? When the first cannon fires, Miwa hears it more than sees it. The sound of the impact booms through the still air and although it’s a hit, it’s not enough to take down the enemy ship. Miwa waits for a cannonball to hit their ship in retaliation, but nothing comes. She wonders if the enemy doesn’t have any cannons, if they realized they’re outmatched and are planning to retreat. As soon as the thought of victory enters her mind, it gets washed away by the sound of an arrow flying past her and burying itself in a mastpole. More arrows quickly follow, as do ropes. Soon men start to climb onboard, coming from the sea in a hive. It all happens so quickly it barely registers before the fighting begins.

Miwa’s heart is racing, beating quicker and quicker every second. Her hand is gripping Tanaka’s sword tightly. It’s heavy, and she’s afraid she won’t be strong enough to wield it, as she most likely will be forced to. 

Miwa has never killed a man, nor thought about doing so. She had a happy childhood and a relatively happy adolescence. She had deemed adulthood thus far to be boring, which led to her joining a pirate crew in some kind of search for adventure, but at least that boredom had been safe. 

She sees Akane, a girl barely on the brink of becoming a woman, stab a man right in the chest. He falls down, desperately trying to stop the blood from pouring out of his wound. His actions are in vain, Miwa blinks and he’s lying motionless on deck. 

The scene repeats itself all around her, scruffy men fighting against the women Miwa has come to know during the past few weeks. Bodies are falling, blood is spilling, people are screaming, grunting, crying. The sight is so vile and gruesome that Miwa feels like throwing up.

Before she has time to stumble over to the railing, she hears Hitoka yell at her to get down. Miwa’s reflexes are faster than her attackers swing, and she manages to dodge it. The pirate in front of her is recklessly swinging his sword, even a beginner like Miwa can tell that he doesn’t have any technique and finesse in his motions, just strength. Their swords clash and Miwa manages to disarm him with the help of a move Akane taught her just the day before. She feels a pang of gratefulness that they put her through training as vigorous as they did.

Another cannon booms, but Miwa’s heart is pounding louder. 

She’s unsure of her next move. The man is unarmed, but still in front of her, and still a threat. She raises her sword, ready to deal the final blow when she hears the sound of a gun firing, and the man topples over and falls at her feet. 

Miwa looks up from the dead man in front of her and meets Kiyoko’s eyes. The healer nods at her, spins her gun around and sets sight on her next target. 

There’s a stench in the air; blood, sweat and gunpowder.

Hitoka and Akane stand back to back, fighting off a whole group by themselves. Kaori pierces a man in the head with her sword. Yukie loads another cannon to sink the enemy ship once and for all. Miwa feels useless. 

She hears her next attacker before she sees him, his raised sword is accompanied by a loud cry and heavy footsteps. Miwa easily dodges his blow, jams her elbow into his head and uses the last momentum from his running approach to push him overboard and into the awaiting dark ocean below. 

The thought that she might have just sent a man to his death gets overshadowed by a sudden burst of pride. She can actually do it, she can fend for herself. 

Miwa’s pounding heart doesn’t slow down, and neither does the fighting. The clashes of sword, the grunt and the vails keep growing in volume, like some kind of violent symphony. She has no sense of time, and as enemy after enemy attacks, she loses sense of how many men she sends to their deaths as well. She never directly deals the deathly blow, she doesn’t think she could do it if she tried, but those not flung overboard will surely bleed out from their injuries. 

Miwa teams up with Kiyoko to take down two men approaching an already fighting Tanaka. Miwa stops one of them by stabbing him in the shoulder and almost cutting off his arm while Kiyoko shoots one straight in the head. The captain shoots them a grateful smile before continuing her own battle. She really looks to be in her element, with her captain hat discarded and her short blonde hair mussed up and splattered with blood. Miwa is not close enough to see her eyes, but she can imagine them — dark and determined, instilling fear in whoever has the misfortune to face her. Maybe the battle has caused her to go mad, but Miwa can’t help but think that dying by Tanaka’s hand would almost be an honor. 

In her daze, Miwa missed Kiyoko’s yells at her to move. In the same instance as Kiyoko’s gun is fired, Miwa feels a jolt of pain in her right shoulder, so excruciating she falls down on her knees. Her free hand instinctively goes up to touch her injured shoulder and is met by gushing blood. It’s warm, and for a second Miwa marvels at that fact. Blood is a strange liquid, thicker than water, something that she’s never felt with her hands in this quantity before.

The pain is almost numbing, Miwa drops her sword without even noticing it hitting the deck. She feels a bit lightheaded, with black spots dancing in her vision, making her feel disoriented. She lets her hand fall from her shoulder. Her palm is red, dripping blood down on the wooden deck, dripping all over her clothes. Her last thought before falling over is that It’s going to be a pain to remove the stains.

—

When Miwa opens her eyes, her first thought is that it’s eerily quiet. Her next thought is that there is a man lying beside her. His eyes are open wide, but completely lifeless. It’s a pair of dark, brown eyes, with a bit of golden flecks sprinkled in. It’s a pair of eyes that Miwa would describe as beautiful, almost unique. She wonders what the last thing they saw was.

Miwa moves to sit up, but gets a painful reminder of her injured shoulder. Her hand goes up to touch it again, and this time she’s not met with blood, but with bandages. She looks around, there are more bodies scattered across the deck, accompanied by blood and destruction. One of the sails is ripped in two, the loose part pinned to a man’s back by an arrow. There were casualties on both sides, Miwa notes as she sees a few women spread among the men. No faces that are particularly familiar, and Miwa shouldn’t feel relieved, but she does. She feels a pang of guilt in her chest, because she has spent most of her piracy time thus far with Hitoka, Akane, Tanaka, Kiyoko and Yukie, and she should’ve made more of an effort to get to know the rest of the crew. Now it’s too late to get to know these women, who gave their lives to protect the rest of them. 

The fighting seems to be over, now it’s time to deal with the aftermath. 

“You’re awake,” Hitoka’s familiar voice says from behind, and before she knows it Miwa is enveloped in a hug from her good side. Hitoka hiccups, like she’s been crying. “I was so worried it would be too late, and I’m sorry we left you out here but we couldn’t move you to the infirmary.”

“It’s alright,” Miwa says, moving to pat Hitoka’s blonde hair with her good arm, which makes their position rather awkward. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine…” Hitoka trails off, like she’s unsure about whether to say more or not. Her eyes leave Miwa, wandering down to look at the wooden floors to keep them from betraying her. 

Sensing that Hitoka is holding something back, Miwa utters a simple, “What is it?” and tries to coax the younger into looking her in the eyes. 

Hitoka caves. “It’s the captain. She’s going to die.”

Miwa moves as if on instinct, ignoring Hitoka’s shouts for her to wait and makes her way across the deck to the infirmary. When she opens the door she sees that the room is already crowded. Tanaka is lying on the bed, the same bed that Miwa spent her first few onboard the ship on. Kiyoko is bent over her, trying to dress a wound on her stomach that won’t stop bleeding while Yukie acts as her assistant. 

“It would take a miracle,” someone utters to Miwa’s left.

“Huh?” Miwa turns towards the speaker. It’s Kaori, with her right arm completely bandaged up.

“For Saeko to survive, in the state she’s in now,” Kaori clarifies. “It would take a miracle, magic, godly intervention, something like that.”

Miwa stumbles forward, using the wall to steady herself as she goes to see Tanaka up close. The other crew members in the room move to make space for her, and Miwa feels grateful for the understanding. They all want to see their captain and know how she’s doing. Miwa can see that she’s still conscious, as she lets out barely incoherent sounds and her eyes sometimes flicker open, only to close right away. Miwa can tell that she’s really fighting, she wants to reach out and take her hand, wants to stroke her cheek, wants to show Tanaka that she’s not alone, but she doesn’t want to get in Kiyoko’s way. It’s frustrating, and Miwa thinks the rest of the women in the room probably feel the same way. 

Just as Miwa is about to move back a bit to let someone else have a closer look, Tanaka’s hand suddenly shoots out to grab her wrist and make her stay.

“Remember the favor you owe me?” she says with a weak and barely audible voice.

Miwa moves further in, nodding and confirming that, yes, she does. 

“Don’t let me die.” Tanaka’s hand drops Miwa’s wrist, and Miwa can’t do anything but stare at her as she lies there in the bed, bleeding out. 

A million thoughts run through Miwa’s mind as she stumbles out of the infirmary and gets out on deck again. Tanaka dying, the favor, how to accomplish a miracle, how to magically cure a life-threatening injury, how to turn back time… Once again, Hitoka spots her and goes to her side, leading her to a crate where she can sit down and rest. Miwa wonders if this would’ve happened if she didn’t delay the crew by having them take a detour, stopping at Crow Island for her sake. She wonders what would’ve happened if she was a better fighter, if she could’ve helped in some way instead of getting injured and spending the better part of the battle unconscious and useless. She could’ve prevented this, she thinks, one way or another. She feels angry, both at Tanaka and at herself. How could the captain ask that of her? To not let her die? And how can Miwa still be so useless, so powerless and pathetic.

“This isn’t your fault,” Hitoka says and Miwa wonders if she can read minds, or if she was thinking out loud. “Fights like this happen, it’s just a part of the pirate life.”

Miwa feels her eyes watering. She doesn’t know why she’s crying, for herself, for the pain she feels, for the dead, or for Tanaka, who might soon join them. The tears flow freely, down her cheeks and onto her already ruined shirt. She’s shaking, futilely brushing away the tears with her good hand while Hitoka rubs her back, a warm and comforting gesture that does nothing to calm her down.

“Saeko wouldn’t want you to weep for her, not yet at least.” 

Suddenly a distant memory of a conversation on a clear night makes its way into the forefront of Miwa’s mind. It seems like so long ago now, years instead of weeks. It was back when Miwa was still a bit frightened by the captain, when she didn’t yet know of her righteous heart. Tanaka had told her the story of the mermaid and the sailor, about the tears that could heal wounds. She wishes she had that power right now, the power to heal Tanaka with her tears. God, she could probably heal the entire crew with the amount of tears now spilling from her eyes. But she isn’t a mermaid, she is only human. 

As soon as she thinks that, she gets an idea. A ridiculous idea, absolutely foolish. 

Miwa shrugs her shoulders, straightening out her back which gets Hitoka to drop her hand from it. She stands up on shaking legs and walks over to the railing. The sea is dark, almost black, and the thick clouds are restricting her from seeing what time of day it is. Miwa thinks about the bodies that must be sinking to the bottom of the ocean right now, or are already lying there, a cushion of sand for their eternal slumber. But she doesn’t have time to dwell on the already dead, not when there’s a chance of saving the still living. 

“Alisa!” she yells. “Alisa, if you’re out there, I need your help!” 

Miwa grips the railing tightly, feeling a bit dumb as she continues to shout into the open air.

“Alisa, you better have exceptional hearing! I need you to come here!”

Hitoka once again walks up to Miwa’s side, this time accompanied by Akane. Miwa’s throat is starting to ache, she was never one to raise her voice, never one for shouting. As if sensing that her voice is about to betray her, Akane steps up and joins her in crying out for the mermaid.

“Alisa! Whoever you are, please come!”

“Alisa, Miwa needs you!” Hitoka yells with her hands around her mouth as an amplifier. 

They stand there and shout and cry and vail until Miwa starts to violently cough. Her voice cracks as she tries to assure her friends that she’s fine. She looks out at the dark and daunting sea, it’s completely still, with no sight of anything moving towards them. 

“She’s not coming,” Miwa sighs, her words coming out as more of a whisper. “I knew it was a long shot, and yet…” 

Before Miwa can say anything else, or explain the cause of her yelling to Hitoka and Akane, Kaori, with her spyglass in hand, yells out from the other side of the ship. 

“There is something moving towards us! It might be just a shark, but in case it's a mermaid you should go down below deck and take cover.”

Miwa does the opposite. She runs over to where Kaori stands with strength she didn’t know her body still possessed. She snatches the spyglass out of Kaori’s hands and starts to search for the beautiful blue tail that still shows up sometimes in her dreams. When she sees something move, her heart starts to beat a little faster. Something is definitely making its way towards the ship, and with great speed. A sudden flash of vibrant blue, and Miwa is holding her breath. The tail stands out against the black waters, it’s scales glimmering even without the sunlight, looking almost magical. Miwa lets out her breath, and a familiar head of silver emerges.

It would take a miracle. 

For captain Tanaka, Miwa will make one happen. 

—

They get Alisa on board with the help of some rope. It takes five girls to pull her up, and Miwa, who tied herself with rope just a few weeks ago, knows that it isn’t pleasant. Alisa doesn’t utter a single complaint though, she just silently lets herself be pulled by the rope until Kaori and Yukie can take hold of her arms and get her on board. Alisa’s tail flaps, similarly to how the fish would after Miwa brought them aboard her little fishing boat. She guesses that the two could be compared in a way — this is just a bigger fish on a bigger boat.

“You called,” Alisa says, almost sounding a bit cheeky, when she lays her eyes on Miwa.

Alisa’s expression changes quickly. She must be able to tell that Miwa didn’t call out to her simply because she wanted a reunion. 

“I need your help,” Miwa says, she sounds a bit rough and she’s afraid her voice will break. “Tanaka is dying.”

It’s almost a miracle in itself that Tanaka is still alive, but as long as Kiyoko doesn’t exit the infirmary, hope is still there. The healer had kicked her audience out around the time of Alisa’s arrival at the ship, and now the crew stands around the mermaid instead, looking baffled and confused. 

“Saeko…” Alisa breathes out, saying the name like it holds some kind of secret meaning. “Take me to her.” 

Since Miwa only has one functioning arm and almost no strength left in her body, Yukie and Kaori do the carrying. Alisa’s upper body isn’t that big, Miwa assumes that if she were human, she would be light enough for only one person to carry. It’s all in the tail, the ridiculously long, strong, and beautiful tail. Miwa trails after them, head down and with a big lump in her chest. She feels sick, and overwhelmed. 

“Are you sure you should be in there?” Akane says. “I know you’re worried about the captain, we all are, but Miwa, you should try to rest some. You’re still injured, you know?” 

Miwa knows Akane is right, but she also knows that we won’t be able to rest until she knows that Tanaka will be fine, that she will survive. She tells Akane so, and the younger lets her go without any further comments. 

Someone must have briefed Kiyoko on the situation, because the healer doesn’t bat an eye when Kaori and Yukie barge into the infirmary with Alisa in their arms. Kiyoko simply leaves the bed and goes to stand by the wall next to Miwa. She takes her hand and squeezes it tightly. Miwa doesn’t know if it’s to comfort her, or if it’s because Kiyoko herself needs comfort. Perhaps it’s both. 

No one says anything, because words aren’t needed. Alisa needs no coaxing or instructions, she knows exactly what to do. When the tears start to fall, Miwa doesn’t think it’s solely for the sake of healing. Alisa shows real pain in her eyes, seeing Tanaka in this state is hurting her. Miwa doesn’t know a lot about their past, she only knows that Tanaka rescued Alisa once, and that both women get this sort of wistful look in their eyes when the other is mentioned. She knows this isn’t the right moment to be having these thoughts, if ever, but an ugly part of Miwa can’t help but feel a bit jealous. Someday, she’d like to have someone get that same look on their face when she is mentioned.

The room is quiet as Alisa weeps. They all just stand there, waiting, hoping, praying. 

Kiyoko doesn’t let go of Miwa’s hand. Her grip is firm even as their palms begin to sweat, even as it’s starting to get uncomfortable. Yukie stands on the opposite side of Miwa, her gaze is pinned on the floor, not even looking at Alisa, or at anything. Kaori’s eyes shift between Yukie beside her and Alisa, then to Miwa, as if silently asking if their presence is okay, or if they should leave. Miwa doesn’t mind them being there, they have as much right to as she herself does. 

After a while, Alisa looks up. Her eyes are a bit puffy and red, Miwa supposes her own look like that too. 

“All we can do now is wait.”

Somehow, Hitoka has acquired a bathtub. She proudly presents it when Miwa exits the infirmary to update the rest of the crew of what’s going on. 

“We are using buckets to fill it, so the process is slow, but Alisa will be able to stay on board for a while,” Hitoka says. 

It’s a thoughtful gesture, one that didn’t even cross Miwa’s mind. Alisa must feel dry and uncomfortable, though she hasn’t expressed any sort of complaint since they fished her up. 

Instead of saying anything, Miwa hugs Hitoka. The short blonde barely reaches Miwa’s chest, and she briefly wonders how such a small body can hold so much strength and kindness in it. 

Yukie and Kaori once again get the honor of carrying Alisa, carefully depositing her in the tub once it’s filled with enough water. Alisa barely fits in there, but she still offers her thanks. She is truly a sight to behold, and Miwa understands it completely when the crew stands around her, just silently staring without daring to approach. This must be the first time seeing a mermaid for many of them, or the first time seeing one so up close. Alisa isn’t a regular mermaid either — she isn’t vicious or violent, she isn’t thrashing and screaming and clawing, trying to catch a prey. Alisa is calm, silent and patient. Alisa is beautiful, incredibly so, and alluring, in more ways than just her appearance. 

“That’s enough gawking!” Akane suddenly yells out. “We have a ship to clean and repair.”

As if broken from a trance, the crowd around Alisa’s bathtub disperses and the crew wander off in different directions to commence the cleanup. In another situation Miwa would find it comical, how a young woman like Akane can hold such authority in her voice. With everyone else busy, Miwa is left standing by the tub alone. She wouldn’t be much help anyway, with the state she’s in.

“How did you know?” Alisa breaks the silence. “About the healing properties of mermaid tears, how did you know?”

“Tanaka told me,” Miwa replies, taking a step forward to lean a hand on the edge of the bathtub in support.

“Oh,” Alisa says, then adds, “it’s funny, I think you’re the only one I’ve heard who refers to Saeko by her surname.” 

Miwa blushes, without really knowing why. “Shouldn’t I?”

“Maybe you should, it’s not my place to say. I am still not that knowledgeable about human customs.”

“Right,” Miwa says. “If I’m not mistaken, I recall you telling me that mermaids aren’t given names the way we are.”

“That’s true… I suppose names aren’t of importance when you live the way most mermaid clans do, as a whole and not as individuals.” There is a hint of bitterness in Alisa’s voice, and knowing that she left her clan and why, Miwa understands it. 

Up above, the clouds are thinning out, opening up to let the setting sun shine its last beams upon them. The orange hue makes Alisa’s silver hair appear golden, and her tail to glimmer brighter than it did before. Miwa feels drawn to her, and she understands why so many sailors have met their death at the claws of mermaids. Alisa looks mesmerizing right now, and if she utilized her full powers, Miwa wouldn’t be able to resist. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you come to choose the name Alisa?” 

The question seems to make the mermaid happy. 

“It was Saeko,” she says. “She rescued me once, when I got caught in a net. She told me that I reminded her of a character in a book she had just read, about a silver haired princess named Alisa. When I separated myself from the clan I was born into and started swimming with mermaids holding the same values as me, they asked me what I wanted to be called. The name Alisa was the only one I could think of.” 

“Oh.”

“I owe her a lot,” Alisa continues. “I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t met her.”

“I feel the same way,” Miwa tells her. “She gave me a place where I finally feel like I can belong, and I can’t let her die when my time with her and the crew has just begun.”

Alisa puts one of her hands on the edge of the tub, right where Miwa is leaning, as if silently reaching out. Miwa takes a seat at the edge, accepts Alisa’s hand and holds it gently.

“Thank you for coming. I never thought you’d actually hear my calls.” Miwa let’s her thumb mindlessly stroke over the back of Alisa’s hand. It’s strange how human it looks, and how well it fits in Miwa’s own hand.

“I was nearby. I always am,” Alisa admits.

“I can’t even dare to think of what would’ve happened if you weren’t.”

“She still might not wake up,” Alisa says, with pain visible in her clear blue eyes. “I’ve never tried to heal someone on the brink of death before, and even if the stomach injury heals, we don’t know if she would need attention elsewhere.” 

“She will be fine, she must be.” Miwa is an honest woman, and she’s never exchanged goods without paying an honest price. She thinks that’s it’s the same with favors. Miwa is an honest woman, and she’ll repay Tanaka even if it’s the last thing she ever does.

Talking with Alisa serves as a good distraction. They wander from the less pleasant topic of Tanaka’s well-being, into more casual ones. Miwa asks Alisa about what it’s like under the sea, asks her more about mermaid culture and about her current group. Alisa doesn’t refer to them as her clan, that word is reserved for her past, for what Miwa assumes are the mermaids she shares blood ties with. Miwa in return tells Alisa about her own past. She tells her about her upbringing on Crow Island, about her years in the capital and about the weeks that transpired since Alisa rescued her. 

“Do you feel more at home here, aboard the ship, than you did in the capital?” Alisa inquires.

“I don’t know,” Miwa answers honestly. “I think so, but it’s too early to be certain.” 

Miwa thinks about the women they lost during the battle, about the people she had yet to get to know. The rest of the crew is grieving, and she feels guilt at the fact that she isn’t. 

“I know I made the right choice, to join the crew, but I don’t know yet if I could call myself a proper pirate, I still feel like an outsider.”

Alisa looks at her for a couple of seconds, like she’s studying her. “I don’t think there is such a thing as a proper pirate,” she settles on. “And I don’t think the others see you as less than them just because you’re new. It’s clear that they trust you, or they wouldn’t have joined you in calling for me, or trusted you to stay here and keep me company.” 

Alisa makes a point, Miwa will give her that, but insecurities are hard to shake.

“I think there will come a day, or a moment, when you will feel that you truly belong,” Alisa states, sounding sincere and certain in her words. Miwa really wants to believe her.

“And you?” Miwa asks. “Do you think you belong with your mermaid group?”

Alisa’s look of certainty fades, and she looks away. “No,” she says. “They’re mermaids who share my values of not harming humans, but I never felt like I fit in with them. They’re nice, but they’re contempt with aimlessly swimming the oceans, whereas I can’t help but want to explore.” 

Miwa smiles at Alisa’s confession. It seems that the two of them are rather similar. 

“I’ll admit I am a little jealous of you, Kageyama, you have not just the ocean to your disposal, but the land as well. I’d like to see some day, up close and not just from afar.”

Alisa has some sort of distant look in her eyes. Miwa doesn’t know what to compare it to, longing, perhaps. It must feel restricting, to physically not be able to go to the places you most want to see. Had it been an issue of money or transportation, as it is for many humans, there would still be a chance, a possible goal to work towards. For Alisa, there is none, unless she somehow acquired legs. Miwa has seen for herself that miracles are possible, but there is a difference between healing already existing limbs, and creating new ones. 

Sometime during their talk, Miwa's fatigue catches up to her and she falls asleep. She’s sitting on the deck with her back leaning against the tub when Kiyoko shakes her awake. She can tell by the sky that it must be early morning. The air is a bit chilly and Miwa remembers that she is only wearing her thin ruined shirt. She must look like a wreck. She stretches her neck, it’s stiff and aching, almost more so than her shoulder. 

“Saeko is awake,” Kiyoko says, voice soft and calm. “She asked for you.”

Miwa stands up a bit too quickly, having to steady herself with a hand on the edge of the tub to not fall over in her haste. She looks over at Alisa, who appears to be sleeping. She looks peaceful, and even in her sleep she looks beautiful. Miwa knows that people don’t usually look beautiful in their sleep. Yukie snores, Akane drools, and although Miwa can’t see herself while she’s asleep, she herself has also found wet spots on her pillow at times. Maybe it’s a mermaid thing, to sleep so gracefully, or maybe it’s just Alisa.

Miwa follows Kiyoko into the infirmary, where she sees Tanaka sitting up in the bed, a stark contrast from how she looked the previous day. She doesn’t look like her usual energetic and fiery self — she looks worn out, with her eyes lacking their signature spark. Still, she smiles as Miwa approaches her. 

“I guess the debt is repaid now,” Tanaka says, voice a bit raspy from lack of use. “I knew you’d be of use to me one day.”

Miwa can’t help but let out a laugh at her comment. It’s a bit absurd to be joking at this moment, but that is just how Tanaka is. Miwa feels a great amount of relief at hearing her speak, but mostly just to see her awake and alive.

“I can’t hog all the glory. It was really all thanks to Alisa.”

“Kiyoko told me, but I can’t believe she was really here.”

“She’s still here, actually. We crammed her into a bathtub.” Miwa laughs at that too, suddenly finding the whole situation a bit ridiculous. Near death experiences, magical mermaid tears, and bathtubs. It’s all hilarious. 

“Alisa is still here?” Tanaka asks, shocked at the revelation. “In a bathtub?”

“In a bathtub,” Miwa confirms.

Tanaka lets out a chuckle of her own, probably imagining the picture in her mind. “I’d like to speak to her too, then.”

Kiyoko, who is standing by the door, nods and leaves to carry out the captain’s orders. 

“How do you feel?” Miwa asks while moving a chair from the corner to place beside the bed. 

“Like my insides have been stirred around a little,” Tanaka jokes. “It hurts, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re okay.” It feels like an understatement, but Miwa doesn’t want to overwhelm her still healing captain by being overly emotional.   
“How are you?” Tanaka asks. “Your shoulder is bandaged.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m sure it will heal in no time.”

“Did Alisa help you too?”

“No, I couldn’t possibly ask that of her after everything she did for you.”

Tanaka doesn’t say anything else, just nods to show that she understands what Miwa means. Their silence isn’t awkward, it never is. Miwa closes her eyes, she can almost fool herself that it’s any other day, and that the two of them are sitting out on the deck, enjoying the sunshine, a good book, and each other's company. 

The illusion gets ruined by Kiyoko who opens the door and keeps holding it open for Yukie and Kaori, who once again got the honor of carrying Alisa. Miwa is a bit amazed at their strength, and at Alisa too, for her perseverance. Miwa looks at Tanaka as she looks at Alisa. A wide range of emotions flicker through her face, before settling on just pure glee. It must have been a while, Miwa thinks, since they last saw each other. 

“Hey,” Tanaka says, her voice much softer than Miwa has ever heard it. 

“Hello,” Alisa greets back, looking a bit bashful.

“Are you fine to be staying on the floor for a little bit?” Kaori asks as they lower Alisa down by the bed at the same spot as yesterday.

“Yes, it shouldn’t be a problem if it’s only for a little while, thank you for carrying me.”

“We will leave you too it, then,” Kaori says and turns to leave, Yukie and Kiyoko in tow. 

Miwa thinks that she should leave too, and let the captain and the mermaid have their reunion in peace. 

“I want to thank you both for rescuing me,” Tanaka says and interrupts Miwa’s train of thought. “And I want to apologize to you, Miwa, for telling you not to let me die, that was a selfish request and I’m sorry.”

Miwa wants to reassure her that it wasn’t an issue, but she doesn’t want to lie. Tanaka’s words had caused her distress, and the apology eases her somewhat. 

“I accept your apology. You’re alive, and in the end that’s all that matters.”

The three women continue to converse for a while. Miwa and Alisa catch Tanaka up on how Alisa ended up on the ship, Miwa tells them about her experience of the battle, and Tanaka offers her in return. The feeling that she should leave still nags at Miwa, but whenever she thinks of walking out, one of the other women asks her something, or finds a way to include her in the conversation, and she decides to stay for a bit longer. Before any of them know it, Kaori and Yukie return to retrieve Alisa, telling them that it’s already around midday. 

“Are you going back into the ocean?” Tanaka asks Alisa, a bit timidly. 

“I don’t know,” Alisa answers. “You don’t seem to require my services anymore, so perhaps I should…” 

“You could stay,” Miwa interrupts without thinking. “I mean, for a little while at least, if you want to.”

“Oh, I mean, sure. I wouldn’t want to impose, though.”

“You’re not imposing,” Tanaka is quick to add. “You can stay as long as you want to, though I can’t imagine the bathtub to be very comfortable.”

“It isn’t,” Alisa admits. “But unless I magically spurt legs I don’t see any other option.”

It’s meant to sound joking, but Miwa hears that it isn’t. Alisa already told her that she’s jealous of her, and that she wants to see land. Miwa gets the feeling that Alisa isn’t happy with the cards she was dealt.

“What if you could. Get legs, I mean.” 

Both Alisa and Tanaka turn to look at Miwa with puzzled expressions on their faces.

“What do you mean?” Alisa asks.

“Well… I just thought that since mermaids have healing powers, maybe there could be some other creature out there with other powers. It’s not entirely impossible, right?”

Alisa scoffs dismissively, but Tanaka seems to think it over more seriously.

“It’s a long shot, but you’re right. It’s not entirely impossible.”

Alisa still doesn’t look convinced, and Miwa understands her. Getting your hopes up and then having them crushed feels terrible, but the more Miwa thinks about it, the more excited she gets. She thinks about Alisa, on two legs, joining her in training with Hitoka and Akane. Alisa, reading with her and Tanaka. Alisa, sitting beside her during meal times, laughing at one of Yukie’s jokes. It’s a beautiful fantasy, one she really wants to fulfill. 

Kaori and Yukie carry Alisa away to the tub, Kiyoko goes to check on Tanaka’s wound and Miwa sneaks away into the captain’s quarters to look for books on myths and legends. Every story is built on some wisp of truth, she reasons, if there is anything at all, she will find it. 

The pirate ship is a place that Miwa can see herself call home one day. If Alisa wants to, Miwa will make sure that the same can be said for her. It might take some time, or it might not even be possible, but she will try, because everyone deserves to feel at home somewhere.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it until the end, thank you for reading! I also want to thank Cate and Sky for helping me and letting me rant to them, you're both angels. Last but not least, a big thank you to the organizers of the event and to my (very kind and patient) group!
> 
> Twitter: @atsumuluvr69


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